ARTICLES
Friendship
A male client has been divorced for a few years. His ex- wife had a female friend, with who she went shopping and could share her feelings. This female friend did not have a relationship. One day, the woman came a bit later home than expected. Her ‘friend’ was at her house, all alone with her husband and had undressed herself in no time. She took place at the couch, where after she declared herself as ‘open to receive’. She stimulated him to have sex by saying: “She is not home, so you and I can satisfy each other…”. This man did not agree to this proposal and sent her back home.
This so- called ‘friend’ felt rejected and wanted to get even. She wanted revenge and had tried to convince her friend with an evil tongue about the ‘evilness’ of her husband. By doing this, this woman was totally indoctrinated and honestly believed that her husband was evil. Eventually, she divorced and now lives alone in her apartment. Moreover, the so- called friendship is not what it has used to be. She has nothing left anymore. Her eyes are widely opened now. She feels that a dirty trick is played on her and realises that she wants her husband back. This man, however, has build up a new life and is not interested in a renewed relationship anymore.
The human being has a need to have a bosom friend, to share intimate secrets with. This ‘sharing of secrets’ is inherent to intimacy and sense of security. The human being naturally has a continuous desire to deploy itself to fill an emptiness. Filling this gap of emptiness is an ancient instinct which involves feelings of victory. The following thoughts: ‘What you do, I can do too’ and next ‘What you do, I can do better’ are central. The last mentioned thought is attended by the confirmation of ‘being superior’ and is in every respect a true flattering of one’s ego. This flattering of one’s ego is an answer to self- love and provides a vital life force; Therefore it can not be ignored. So, love comes forth out of self- love.
The naivety with which one operates, often has an irresponsible character. Always be aware that everything, including friendship, is limited. Friendship often is limited to a mutual ‘benefit- expectation’. The maintenance of your relationship is dependant of a balance between both trust and distrust. So, have faith in human kind, but also protect yourself by distrusting people as well…
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